Passion is such a gigantic preoccupation with people, I think. It seems like most blogs have at least one post or two about passion, what it is and how to attain it. But I can’t say that I necessarily agree with living passionately, or doing anything with a great deal of passion.
Why? Because passion is similar to being an adrenaline junkie. There are times when I’m on a roll with accomplishing specific tasks, like applying to jobs, and I feel this insane surge of energy and purpose. There’s a certain amount of clarity when I’m getting things done; I rather like it. But then, within hours (and definitely by the next day) I’m out of juice. My energy levels have gone back down and I’m back to where I was. Before, I used to try and reclaim this passion, I used to wonder aloud, “How do I feel this way all the time?“
My answer is that you don’t. I am naturally a very low energy person. Even though I enjoy running errands, and hanging out, I tire out very easily and enjoy being alone for huge chunks of my time. I can’t sustain passion, literally, it’s too much energy.
But people treat passion like it’s the cure-all for a “boring existence”. I’m almost weary of the term, “Finding your passion”. Passion suggests that you can’t live without it, something you need to keep you going. It seems to me that if you’re not SUPER PASSIONATE ABOUT SOMETHING then you’re missing out and your life is without meaning or purpose.
But that’s a bit extreme, isn’t it?
I will be honest: there isn’t a lot (if anything) that I am passionate about. I enjoy many things, like writing, playing with kittens, going to the movies but I can’t say that doing these things gives me a gigantic sense of passionate accomplishment or sense of purpose. On occasion, I feel the surge of energy from doing what I like, but as I said before: I can’t sustain the energy levels necessary to constantly be passionate. I need a break, I need to do something else for awhile.
On the flip side, you have people who can maintain high energy levels for a long period of time, and for them, perhaps living an adrenaline-based life is better.
But not me.
So instead of trying to “find my passion”, I vote more on the side of clarity, peace of mind, a stronger sense of self and dedication to something because to run on passion is like trying to survive on energy drinks. Eventually you’ll crash and then you’ll probably think there’s something wrong with you because you’re not full of passion anymore.
Maybe I’ll focus more on finding something I enjoy doing consistently, that brings me joy but doesn’t rob me of my sense of self. Because not everyone can be a passionate person; I sure as hell am not.