Last night, in the US, were the presidential elections. I mostly kept updated with Twitter and the Huffington Post, and waited until 1am for Romney to do his concession speech before heading to bed (apparently he didn’t do it until after).
So I ended up not blogging. It’s not that I was wrapped up in the election; I could’ve taken 30 minutes out to unwind and churn out a blog post. But I stayed glued to it, because I tried to convince myself that following the election was more important than a commitment I had made to blog each day of November. And now I have to catch up, and get myself back on track.
Have you ever had to get yourself back on track?
There have been times when I wasn’t sure what I was doing with my life. I had this small epiphany when I was living in Seattle – not the best situation; a crap job, an awful room mate and no idea about what I wanted to do at all with myself. So I left, and wandered around in Orland for awhile trying to figure out who I was. Quickly I learned that I loved comics, after getting the chance to be part of a large anthology created by and for women. This one decision has led me to write for a comics site – and it’s been one of the best choices I’ve made.
This aimless wandering, and general fear of being dependent on others also led me into my current position: I’ve acquired a new job that I enjoy, with a company that’s really great and I get to live with two really awesome people in a brand new city.
Everything is still a work in progress as I discover that even now, with my situation bringing me more happiness than the last, there’s still something missing. I’m still wandering. Still trying to figure things out, to catch up.
Not to “catch up” as in a race, but to catch up to the image I have of myself, of my future. I want to be that person that writes every day, that wakes up early and eats breakfast, to follow through on the tasks she sets out for herself. So I’m writing my post for two days to catch up to that person.
A lot of the time, I find myself comparing my life to others not because I want their lives specifically, but because it seems like those people are already doing what they’ve set out to do. They’re living their lives, doing their dreams. Naturally, there’s always a filter when observing someone else’s life – so the picture is never complete, you never get the whole story, only what you choose to see and what others allow you to see.
Someone I follow online once suggested that you just stay in your own lane, focus on what you’re doing and don’t get too caught up in others.
I should try that, maybe that’ll help me get a lot closer to who I imagine myself to be.
I’m participating in National Blog Posting Month (NaBloPoMo).
30 Days of Blog Posting.
If you click the badge, you’ll be taken to the NaBloPoMo and you can join in yourself!